The splits and Allie

I, unfortunately, cannot do the splits. I will not knowingly spread my legs to an 180-degree angle. It just feels dangerous. I don’t really subscribe to danger, you know, I am all into self-preservation and all and have to keep myself healthy for when I go to Mars with my lovely android Kyllan. Anyway, Kyllan would [...]

KAREN AND THE BABES

I have started a band. We do drugs and occasionally some weird but beautiful music. The band is called Karen and the Babes. It constitutes of Karen, Matt, and Arthur. I am ‘Karen’, Matt and Arthur are ‘the Babes’ (I like to refer to them as 'my babes' every once in a while). They are [...]

Chewing gum, alien questions, and crippling paranoia .

This adult male seated next to me is chewing gum in a very galling manner. He is chewing with relatively high volume while opening his mouth so wide after each chew and boy, those lips are so huge I could fit my fist into that mouth. Not that I want to. I have never heard [...]